Thin Air
by Blisterdude
Summary: Rogue turns eighteen, and it feels a little like her world is fraying at the edges again. And Logan is running late.
1. Thin Air

This is a story I've been working at on and off for ages. I've restarted it a few times. Once it was from Logan's perspective, but I eventually settled on Rogue.

I've always been kinda fascinated by the Wolverine/Rogue relationship dynamic, more based on the movie than the comics, necessarily. Some people ship them outright, some instead choose to focus on their bond in a sort of surrogate father/daughter family sense, and I think both have their appeal.

I've decided to keep it a little ambiguous with my own foray into their relationship. I think I leave it subtle enough that you *could* read both into it, if you chose, or whichever you prefer, and I'm going to try and keep it like that. Make your own mind up where they stand, sort of thing. Logan isn't the particularly vocal, forthcoming sort, and Rogue herself is quite conflicted and emotionally challenged, in some ways, so their testimony isn't necessarily to be taken at face value.

I don't have any immediate plans to continue this...but never say never. Maybe I'll come up with something if people are into it.

That said, enjoy my flawed musings on the subject.

* * *

Rogue gripped the edge of the low wall with her hands, leaning back. She kicked her legs idly, as much as her knee-length, black skirt would allow, while she waited.

She was waiting.

"Please be careful of my roses, Rogue." Piotr warned, kindly.

"Sorry, dude." She glanced over at the Russian giant. He was knelt part way behind her, in a pair of scruffy cargo pants and a sweat-stained white vest that stretched over his…impressive physique.

She might have lingered on that image a little.

The wall ran across the front of Xavier Mansion, by the main drive. Behind it, ran a long row of Piotr's carefully-tended rose bushes.

She leaned further forward, instead, this time knocking her heavy black boots against the wall.

When had he said he'd be back? Two in the afternoon?

"That is not ladylike behaviour." Piotr added, while he clipped at one of the bushes, paitiently.

"I'll be sure'n let the first lady I see know that." Rogue smirked, throwing him a grin.

Piotr looked up from his roses with a dry grin of his own.

"Happy birthday, Rogue." Piotr chuckled, in his thick accent, then got up and moved away.

Rogue turned back to the drive, smiling a little.

Eighteen today. Kind of a big deal, she was told. It felt like one, with the way everyone had been talking about it that morning. Chuck-

She stopped, shaking her head clear of that little bit of Logan which had bubbled to the surface.

-Charles…Professor Xavier…had talked to her that morning. A lot of the usual spiel about responsibility and maturity and choices and her future. Gave her a lot to think about, but it was pretty clear he cared, and it was nice being reminded of that.

You could kinda forget, sometimes. In a massive house…school…whatever, like this, full of kids who'd been like her, were like her. Lost, afraid, alone…sometimes you felt like you got forgotten in the mix, especially since she'd been there longer than a lot of the kids here, now.

And especially if the only way you could safely show most people you cared was to keep them at arm's length because getting too close to you was dangerous. Sometimes it felt like she lived in a bubble, not quite in the same world as her friends, her peers, the rest of the team.

She'd broken things off with Bobby because of it, in the end. Her choice, before things got so bad there was no choice.

So…it was kinda selfish, but it was nice to be told people cared, once in a while, even if you already knew.

Some more than others, maybe. She liked to think. She checked her watch. Gone two now.

Rogue pulled her short, black leather jacket tighter around her, as a sharp wind blew through.

The sun was shining, but despite that there was a slight chill in the air. It was nearly Christmas too, on top of everything else. The mansion was alive with a tense, excited air. The younger kids had spent most of the morning rushing around, supposedly 'helping' Jean and Ororo putting up decorations, but mostly getting glitter everywhere.

… _everywhere_.

She held up her gloved hand, seeing little sparkles light up as she rolled it over, caught by the sun.

Kids.

She'd had to get outside. Partly for fresh air. Partly because she just wanted to be out here for when Logan arr-

"Hey moody."

Rogue jumped, seeing Jubilee had somehow materialised beside her on the wall.

Most people thought that was an ability exclusive to Kitty, or Kurt, but they just didn't know Jubilee. She was… _insidious._

And also one of her best friends, but still.

"Are you sure you don't have any kind of…teleportation power or anything?" Rogue asked, wryly.

"Like I'd need 'em." Jubilee smirked. "Anyway, what're you doin' out here on your lonesome?"

"Waiting." Rogue turned back to the drive, staring down the road that led out of the grounds. She toyed with her loose ponytail.

"Ohhhhh, I know what's eatin' you."

"What?" Rogue shot her a look, more defensively than she'd intended.

"Daddy Logan's comin' back, isn't he?"

Rogue winced, feeling her cheeks flush slightly. She'd regretted confiding that little bit of information to her friend, a year or so back. It wasn't that she didn't trust her, Jubilee wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone…but she had no issue using it to take the piss on a semi-regular basis.

"Don't call him that, Jubes." Rogue replied, a touch reproachful.

"Bet that's why you weren't sleepin' last night too." Jubilee shouldered her, playfully. "You always get so antsy whenever he's due back."

"I wish I'd never told you that." Rogue sighed.

"Don't be like that, girl." Jubilee bumped shoulders with her again. "I get it. You've been through a lot with the guy, and he's looked out for you, checked up on you an' stuff. Who wouldn't look up to someone like him after…uh…how many years?"

"Three, I think." She replied, slowly. "It sounds stupid when you say it out loud." Rogue admitted, kicking the wall with her boots again.

It was true though. She'd never told Logan, probably never would to his face, but considering what a bitter, depressing, catastrophe her own family had been, on finding out about her powers, her mutation, and her own father's reaction…her own father…

…yeah, Logan had kinda…filled in a gaping hole she'd had in her life for a long time. Not that he probably knew.

And not that she'd ever tell him. How fuckin' weird a conversation would that be?

It wasn't the kind of thing they ever talked about. It definitely wasn't the kind of thing she'd ever thought of Logan as talking about. It wasn't his…style.

"Just say somethin'." Jubilee shrugged. "What's he gonna do, chew your…er…" She trailed off, remembering they were talking about Logan.

"Yeah." Rogue shot her dry look.

"Aw, c'mon. He'd never hurt you." Jubilee grinned. "He actually likes _you_." She sniggered.

Rogue shrugged, looking back at the drive.

"Ain't that simple, anyway."

Also true.

Her feelings were…complicated.

"Never is with you, Rogue." Jubilee puffed out her cheeks, leaning back on the wall.

One part friend, one part confidante, one part comrade, one part protector. It had taken her a couple of years to realise he'd filled a particular void in her life, intentionally or not.

Their relationship had always been…different. They'd never really defined it, but they played by a specific set of rules, of a sort. Maybe that was why it had worked? Would calling attention to it, would looking for that definition unravel everything?

She wasn't sure she could face Logan not being a part of her life.

"Who're we waiting for?" A voice chirped, right behind her.

Rogue and Jubilee nearly fell off the wall, turning angrily to see Kitty leaning forward behind them, smiling.

"Fuck, Kitty." Jubilee growled.

"Happy birthday, Rogue." Kitty beamed. "You look nice."

She had dressed up a bit. Just a bit. More than usual. Cropped black leather jacket, red long sleeved top, black elbow-length gloves, black knee-length skirt, dark tights and her nicest boots. She'd even put a bit of make-up on, and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail.

"Piotr's gonna kill you if you've stepped on his roses." Rogue frowned, settling herself on the wall again.

"Who's stepped on any roses?" Kitty smirked, sort of gliding through the wall and lowering herself onto it, solid again.

Rogue and Jubilee shared a look, rolling their eyes.

"What're you guys doin' out here anyway, the decoratin' in there is a riot." Kitty chuckled.

"We're not-" Rogue started, when Jubilee interrupted.

"We're waitin' for Logaaaaan." Jubilee cut in, in a sing-song voice.

" _We_ , ain't." Rogue scowled at her, her southern twang becoming thicker the more annoyed she got.

"I guess that explains why you were up pacin' most of last night." Kitty mused.

"I was not." Rogue argued, her accent gaining in prominence again.

She suspected it would always be with her, but over the years it had thinned in casual conversation. Except when she got angry, or upset, or sad, and then that drawl returned with a southern vengeance. Rogue sighed.

"She totally was." Jubilee loudly whispered behind her, to Kitty. "She tried calling him a few times, too."

"I did not!" Rogue insisted, crossing her arms and hunching over. Strands of her fringe fell in front of her face, including the white streak she'd picked up years ago. She tucked it behind her ear, irritably.

She fingered her choker, distractedly, her hand idly slipping down to the thin chain underneath, connected to the dog tags hanging on her chest.

Rogue hadn't always been sure what they'd meant, when she was younger. But now, she understood a little better. They'd been a promise, and one Logan so far had managed to keep.

He'd given them to her to 'look after', saying he'd take them back one day. But he hadn't. It had been his way of…connecting. Leaving something of him behind, giving him a reason to come back.

Logan came back for other reasons, not that he'd ever admit it to the others. She knew he'd come to respect the rest of the X-Men in one way or another, and appreciated having a place he could at least temporarily call 'home', but he always came back for her. He just hadn't known how to say that, after everything with Magneto and Liberty Island.

He left, but he came back. He always came back.

Sometimes he was gone a few days, a few weeks, a few months.

Sometimes he stayed a few days, a few weeks, a few months.

Rogue suspected he'd never settle. He'd been around for a long time, a really long time if she believed some of his memories, the ones floating around in her skull left behind by the times he'd touched her skin.

Rogue realised it had gone quiet. Kitty and Jubilee were grinning at her, she let go of the dog tags hurriedly.

"What?" She asked, looking between the two, nervously.

"You're adorable." Jubilee smirked, sliding an arm behind her back.

"Absolutely." Kitty agreed, sliding her arm around the other way.

"What do I have t'do to get you to leave me the hell alone?" Rogue huffed.

"Dress up like this next time we sneak out for a drink?" Jubilee chuckled.

"Jubilation Lee." Rogue growled, narrowing her eyes pointedly.

"She even _sounds_ like him." Kitty hissed ominously, behind her back.

"Kitty!" Rogue snapped, turning sharply the other way.

Her two 'friends' laughed, then stopped when they all heard the low rumble of a motorcycle approaching.

"You know we're only teasin', right?" Jubilee said, suddenly.

"Yeah." Kitty added, nodding emphatically.

Rogue laughed now, as her friends beat a hasty 'retreat'.

Logan had that effect on people.

"What, you're worried I'll tell on you or somethin'?" She smirked, stepping off the wall and turning back to face them.

"Hey," Jubilee grinned weakly. ", I don't mind admittin' that Logan…Logan scares the piss outta me, girl." Jubilee got up, brushing off her leggings.

"Same." Kitty smiled, phasing back through the roses.

Rogue crossed her arms, still grinning.

"I'll catch you guys later." She nodded.

"Have a good time. Say 'hi' for us." Jubilee waved, jogging around the wall after Kitty. "And don't be late f' your own damn party!"

Rogue watched them bustle inside, leaving her alone. She turned back to the drive as what had once been Scott's motorcycle rolled up and rumbled to a halt in the gravel.

Logan kicked out the stand stepped off the bike, pulling off his helmet.

Rogue bit her lip distractedly, trying to put her hands in her pockets and remembering she didn't have any. She settled for crossing them again.

Logan turned around to face her, rucksack slung over one shoulder, already fumbling in his old, weathered, brown leather jacket's pocket for a cigar. He made a show of looking somewhat surprised to see her standing there, as he plucked one out and stuck it in his mouth.

He always did, even though she always was.

He strolled closer, taking in the mansion behind her and nodding, as if approving of something, before stopping in front of her. He glanced down, lip curled in a half-smile.

"Hey, darlin'."

Rogue couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his chest. She felt his arm wrap around her back, rubbing circles in it.

She breathed in, caught in his heady aura. The familiar smell of old leather, smoke, oil and whiskey. In her mind, it was indisputably 'Logan'.

"Missed you." She mumbled into his chest. The rough flannel of his shirt scratching her cheek.

"I know." Logan, chewed the cigar, his other arm sliding around her shoulders. "Missed you too."

Logan was the only one who wasn't really afraid of her, or her skin.

She didn't blame anybody, not even her closest friends for always being somewhat wary of her. She'd rather they were cautious, as cautious as she was. She'd never forgive herself if she hurt Jubilee or Kitty or anyone else at the mansion. But it stung sometimes, knowing that deep down even those closest to her were a little bit afraid of her.

The risk was still there with Logan, but…he just wasn't afraid. She'd never felt that hesitance, or that careful distance with him, over the years. It…it made a difference, to her.

"Y'look good." He mumbled around the cigar.

"Thanks."

"Meetin' someone special?" She could practically hear the grin in his voice.

"Don't you start makin' fun a'me." Rogue retorted, looking up at him. "I've had Jubes an' Kitty ridin' me most of the day."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He replied. "Happy birthday, darlin'."

"Feels more like it now." She mumbled.

Rogue heard the front door open behind her, and the low, electric hum of a small motor.

She turned around, letting go of Logan to face the newcomer, but she noticed Logan kept his arm around her back as he did the same.

"Good afternoon Logan." Professor Xavier greeted from the porch.

"Afternoon, Chuck." Logan nodded, taking the cigar out of his mouth.

"Running a little late, aren't we?" Xavier raised one brow, smiling slightly.

"You oughta see the traffic further south." Logan growled. "You'd think it was the end of the world."

"Or worse, some would say." Xavier went on, nodding. "It's nearly Christmas."

Logan chuckled at that, putting the cigar back in his mouth.

"I see Rogue has found you already." He smiled at her, briefly.

"Instincts." Logan's arm moved up her back to her shoulder. "Good ones." He patted it lightly.

"They'd better be." She quipped, shooting him a look. "A lot of 'em are yours."

"I just stopped by to say there's been a bit of a…delay with the decorating, Rogue. It seems Jean and Ororo really should have kept a better watch on that glitter with the children in such high spirits. So you and Logan have some time to catch up, before this evening." Xavier explained, catching her eye. "And of course, welcome back, Logan. Your room is as you left it."

With that, the old professor left with a nod, and went back inside.

"What was that about glitter?" Logan asked, glancing down at her.

"You don't wanna know." She held up a gloved, sparkling hand.

Logan chuckled, gruffly, pulling out a lighter and holding it to the end of his cigar.

"Guess we've got some time till they spring your party thing then, what you wanna do, kid?" He paused, a funny look on his face. "Sorry, Marie." He corrected, grinning slightly.

There was a time when she'd have risen to the bait. Bitten it hard. It'd always bugged her when he called her 'kid', but now she was finally older, finally an actual adult, almost…she already felt like she was missing it.

The fact he'd corrected himself made her feel just a bit older. Like the past was just a bit further away.

"Force of habit." Logan shrugged, mistaking her lack of response for annoyance.

"I don't mind." She said, slowly, glancing up at him briefly.

He chuckled at that, slightly. Low and rumbling.

"You been chewin' me out for years f'r doin' just that."

Rogue shrugged, looking away again.

"I don't know if it'll make y'feel any better, but you'll always be a kid t'me." Logan rubbed her shoulder, squeezing her close.

"Not sure yet." Rogue replied, cheering slightly.

She let him guide her back toward the low wall, where they both took a seat. He took a drag on the cigar, blowing out a stream of smoke.

He didn't say anything else for a minute, since this was where Rogue normally filled him in on everything she'd done, or learned, or that he'd missed while he'd been away. So she did. For the next twenty minutes, or so.

He never interrupted her. Just nodding once in a while, watching her from time to time. He'd ask her questions afterwards.

"…and I'm thinkin' about colleges I guess. The professor suggested some…but I-…we, Jubes an' Kitty an' that, are thinkin' we might take a year out. Maybe travel around a bit, y'know?"

"Y'don't sound very sure on the college thing, I noticed." Logan said, suddenly.

Rogue looked at her feet.

Truth was, she wasn't.

It wasn't that she didn't want to carry on with school, but being who she was, and what she could do to others…

"I'm dangerous, I know that. We all do." Rogue said, quietly. "How'm I ever gonna be able to go away to a college, with normal people? I thought the professor would say somethin', I know he knows it's a problem."

"Marie. It's not his job to tell you guys what you can't do." Logan rumbled in reply. "He's here to give y' options. Choices. You gotta make 'em yourself."

He was the only one who ever really used her name. Most went by her moniker, and she was fine with that, from most that was all she wanted. But Logan knew her past, and he'd known her before the X-Men, if only a little. Marie existed, to him.

"I don't have any choices." Rogue muttered. "He offered me a way to continue on here, too. Ways to do college courses without leavin'."

"Ain't that a choice?" Logan took another drag on the cigar. "Y'ever thought that was Chuck's way of tellin' you he wanted y' t'stay on?"

Rogue mulled it over. Along with Logan's words about what Charles tried to do for them all, giving them options and information and choices. It occurred to her that if he had just asked her to stay, it would kinda defeat the point.

"I'll think about it."

"Still takin' a year out, right?" Logan bumped her shoulder. "Y'got time to think. So use it. Take it easy."

She realised she'd been carefully avoiding the topic of her and Bobby, but news travelled fast in the mansion, and she realised she didn't want him to ask later, after hearing it second hand. Or even worse, have him not ask, but know he knew, and was specifically not asking about it, because that was the sort of thing Logan did.

"Me and Bobby broke up, earlier this year."

"Your call?" Logan asked, eyes lingering on her briefly.

"Yeah." She nodded. "It wasn't…I mean, we couldn't…I couldn't…y'know." She held up her hand a wiggled her fingers, hoping he'd get it.

He nodded, understandingly. That familiar, heavy arm slid around her shoulders, giving her a comforting squeeze.

"Sorry, kid."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, enjoying the proximity. Logan didn't flinch, or tense, or anything. It was something he could give her that nobody else could in quite the same way.

"Couldn't ask Bobby to keep pushin' somethin' that wasn't goin' anywhere." Rogue went on, eyes fixed on the treeline across the lawn. "Wasn't fair to him. Or me, I guess. Still hurt though."

"If it didn't, I'd be worry'n about you a lot more." Logan replied. "I'm…proud of you, for what it's worth." He added, hesitantly.

"It's worth a lot." She admitted, leaning into him a little more.

Logan gave her shoulder another squeeze.

Rogue thought again about talking about their…relationship, whatever it was. But she'd already put him on the spot a lot and he'd only been back half an hour, and it was pretty evident it wasn't something he was always comfortable with.

Even if he always seemed to know exactly what to say, or do, for her. However little.

"Guess we've still got some time to kill." Logan said suddenly, stamping out his cigar.

Rogue looked back at the mansion. For a moment, she swore she could hear the shrill screams and laughter of the younger kids.

"Yeah. Reckon so."

"Wanna go for a ride, darlin'?" He nodded toward the motorbike, with an easy smirk.

Rogue grinned.

"Hell yeah, sugar."


	2. Untouchable

I couldn't resist. Here's one more of these. Probably be the last thing you see from me before Christmas. Merry Crimbo!

* * *

The last few minutes replayed in her mind clearly, like a movie, as she picked pieces of cake and debris off her face and out of her hair.

 _"Happy Birthday!" Everyone chorused, crowding into the mansion's large kitchen._

 _She didn't even attempt the candles, the cake was bloody huge. Jean…and Scott, she had been surprised to learn, had outdone themselves._

 _Her teacher and part-mentor was a multi-talented creature, she was always discovering._

 _"Happy birthday, Rogue." Scott and Jean smiled, flanking her on one side._

 _It was echoed by Ororo, Piotr, Hank and Xavier, the other members of the X-Men team. The rest of the kitchen was crammed with her friends, Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby, St John, Kurt, Remy, and the other younger kids, pushing and shoving to get a look._

 _Logan stood off a little, leaning against the counter, looming over the crowd of kids in the corner. He nodded at her and smiled._

 _It felt a bit uncomfortable, being the centre of all that attention._

Rogue grinned, to herself, dropping back onto the rocking bench on the porch and letting her feet rest on the low table in front of it. She successfully plucked another candle out of her hair.

 _"Thanks." She managed. "Really."_

 _"Alright, let's get this started up!" Jubilee exclaimed, suddenly._

 _Rogue noticed, not for the first time, that her friend was…swaying slightly. It all but confirmed in her head that Jubes had once again employed her innate skill to seek out and locate alcohol._

 _"Jubilee, take it easy." Kitty gripped her arm._

 _"Easy? This is Rogue's party!" She waved a hand in Rogue's direction. "We need…fireworks!"_

"Mind if I join you?"

Rogue looked back toward the house. Logan stepped out of the open glass sliding doors, a number of bottles of beer in his hands. He'd removed his flannel shirt, leaving him in just a white t-shirt and his jeans.

Apparently, Logan didn't feel the cold.

Her eyes lingered on his chest a little, the way his shirt stretched over it, briefly illuminated by light from the windows before he was in the dark with her.

Feelings. Complicated.

"Nope." She replied. "Who are they for?" She gestured to the bottles.

"Not gonna tell me you've never drank before are you, Marie?" He smirked, dropping onto the seat beside her.

"Nope." Rogue grinned.

 _"Has she been…drinking?" Scott asked, suspiciously._

 _"A good deal, I think." Jean sighed, rubbing her temples. "If what I just saw is any judge."_

 _"Jubilee, don't-" Kitty tried to dissuade the energetic, and apparently inebriated girl in vain. Bobby stepped forward to try and help her._

 _Bobby and Kitty. She'd noticed, lately._

 _"What's the harm?" Rogue shrugged._

 _"Fireworks!" Jubilee beamed, raising her hands._

 _"Jubilation Lee, don't you da-" Everyone rushed forward suddenly, trying to stop her._

 _The cake exploded._

 _Once the kitchen had settled, everything…and everyone…covered in a mix of chocolate and icing, Rogue started laughing._

"Missed a spot." Logan reached over, swiping a lump of chocolate off her face with his finger.

She turned, sharply. More as a knee-jerk reaction than anything. His bare finger, her bare cheek.

Logan was always doing little things like that. Little touches. Brief moments of contact. He'd been doing it for years, even when she covered up as much as she could, he'd find some way to touch her skin. Never long enough to hurt himself, or her, just enough to…to let her remember what it was like, to remind her she was still a person.

He just didn't seem to care that she could kill people without trying, at all.

Or…

"Sorry, didn't mean t'make you jump." Logan said, easing back into the seat.

"It's fine." Rogue replied. "Keep forgettin' you got this death wish." She grinned.

"You're not a monster, Marie." He glanced at her, frowning lightly. "Just bein' around you ain't gonna kill anybody." She watched him pick up a bottle, resting the neck against the table. He slammed it down, popping the lid off.

"Touching me does."

He looked at her a moment, an odd look on his face.

Logan did the same with the second bottle, and passed it to her. As she was about to take it, he reached out and gripped her wrist. Not hard, but firm enough that she didn't try and pull it away.

"What…what is it?"

He watched her, seemingly in thought about something.

"I won't force you t'do anythin' you don't want to Marie, y'know that, right?"

"…sure, yeah." Rogue nodded, eyes flitting between his hand on her gloved wrist and his face.

"Take off your gloves."

She blinked, holding his gaze, thinking he must have been joking or something, but his expression didn't falter.

"Logan…I…no, I can't, it's dangerous." She argued.

He let go of her hand, a look of…was it almost disappointment on his face briefly? Then gone quickly. He chuckled slightly picking up his bottle.

"Trust me darlin', I know all about dangerous. He popped one of his claws and levered off the cap from his bottle where it had gotten stuck.

Rogue looked down at the bottle in her hands. She could feel the slight coolness of the glass through her gloves, the moisture, seeping through.

She looked back at Logan, who was necking back a mouthful.

It was dark out now. Everybody else was still busy indoors with the party, the cleaning, dealing with Jubilee…

Carefully, she peeled off one of her long gloves.

Rogue felt his eyes on her. Like a kind of…itch, a sense she couldn't pin down. Some kind of by-product of having a bit of Logan in her head all these years. He didn't say anything. Didn't crow, or grunt, or laugh, or crack a joke.

She peeled off the other, then set them down on the table and picked up her bottle.

"Happy?" She sat back, taking a swig.

"Are you?" He asked.

Rogue swallowed the beer, momentarily surprised by how strong it was. She must have made a face, because Logan chuckled to himself.

"Lightweight." He muttered.

"I can take it." She fired back, downing another mouthful.

"I bet." He growled.

She punched him in the arm, then immediately realised what she'd done and froze, retracting her hand quickly.

"Shit, I-"

Logan barely flinched. He glanced at his arm, then back at her, and shrugged.

"Would y'look at that. Nothin' happened."

"Well…good." She pulled her legs up to her chest, toying distractedly with the bottle in her hands and curling up slightly.

Her heart rate quickened and she still felt stupid. She'd had her gloves off for a few minutes and she was already-

"Don't, Marie." Logan's voice cut through her inner self-berating.

"Don't what?" She frowned back. "I nearly killed you twice, Logan. I don't wanna make it a third."

"You're no killer."

"That doesn't mean it won't happen if I'm not fuckin' careful." Rogue argued. She couldn't understand what he was trying to do. He knew what she was capable of, but he was always pushing her in some way, he always had.

"Good." Logan nodded. "Be careful, be cautious, be smart. But don't be afraid."

She stared back.

"But I am afraid." Rogue retorted. "I'm so afraid one day I'll kill somebody because I wasn't thinkin', or just because I was bein' stupid or somethin'."

"You're not stupid." Logan sighed, sliding an arm around her shoulders.

She hated herself for tensing up, but scooted closer to him on the bench anyway. The hand squeezed her shoulder then slid back to collar of her jacket. His thumb started rubbing the back of her neck, her bare neck. His thumb was coarse, rough, worn, but to someone as deprived of the sensation of touch as she felt, sometimes, it was…amazing.

"Y'r just an eighteen year old girl."

Rogue didn't pull away. When she felt the first pull, the first inklings of her skin attempting to draw energy, Logan's thumb stopped. Then a few seconds later, he started again.

He repeated the process again, and then again. She held his gaze the entire time.

"You're tryin' to make a point." Rogue said quietly, something suddenly becoming clearer. "That…I'm not untouchable, or somethin'?"

She toyed with the bottle, nearly empty, then took another mouthful. Her head was feeling pretty light, but she was getting used to the taste.

"Been tryin' f'a few years, darlin'."

Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking.

"I'll never be like everybody else, Logan." She said. Her mind went back to Bobby and Kitty. "I seen Kitty gettin' close to Bobby lately. Kinda stings, but I'm glad too. She can do what I can't, and she's happy too, so…"

"Does it bother you?"

"A little. Not as much as I thought it might." She shrugged. "I'll never be like everybody else." Rogue said again.

"No." Logan finished his beer and set it on the table, sitting back again. "Not such a bad thing from where I'm standin'."

She looked across at Logan. He was watching her, patiently.

Something she'd learned about Logan was that things like…this…didn't come naturally to him. Support, comfort, counsel. He fumbled and faltered, but…with her at least, he'd always seemed to make the effort.

"Aw shucks." Rogue drawled, laying her accent on thick. "Y'all gonna make me blush." She added, chugging the last of her drink and taking another.

Logan grinned, squeezing the back of her neck with his palm lightly and shoving her head forward playfully.

This time, she didn't even flinch when he touched her, skin to skin.

"That's my girl." He chuckled, gruffly, pulling out a cigar and lighting it.

His face was briefly illuminated by the spark, and she heard him draw in, slowly. But his words stuck in her head.

She was kinda glad it was dark because she was sure she really was blushing, now.

It wasn't that…well, they'd always been sorta close. Their relationship was always kinda…different. Something more than friends, what exactly she wasn't sure, but…

Logan had never really specifically _said_ anything though, nothing that really d _efined_ what it meant, or…well they'd never explicitly tried to _clarify_ what they were to each other, not in all the years they'd known one another.

She tried to cover the silence by drinking.

"Cat got y'tongue?" Logan said, breathing out. Rogue smelled the cigar smoke.

A wolverine, maybe.

"Somethin'…" She hiccupped. "…'scuse me…like that, I guess."

Rogue was definitely feeling the drink now, which was odd.

It wasn't that she was a particularly heavy drinker, but it normally took more'n one bottle. It didn't taste that strong…she mused, swallowing another mouthful. In fact, her second one tasted different to the first…

"You wanna take it easy, it's not a race." Logan said, the barest hint of concern in his voice.

"Y'r just sayin' that cus' I'm winnin', sugah." She drawled, grinning goofily, glancing across at him.

She clumsily reached back and pulled her hair out of its ponytail, shaking it down over her shoulders, and slumped back into the seat, instantly regretting it when her head started spinning. Rogue sniggered to herself, felt like she was at sea or something.

"You alright?" Logan asked, leaning forward, peering at her with a light frown, cigar half in his mouth.

"Yeah, man. Whatever was in that first bottle was great. Don't taste like this, its practic'ly water or somethin'."

Logan reached for his empty bottle, reading the label while Rogue let her head loll back over the bench. Sky looked nice, tonight. She couldn't even feel the chill, now.

"Crap." She heard Logan mutter.

"Wha'ssup?" She raised her head, lazily, watching as he checked her empty bottle.

"Gave you the wrong bottle." He put it down and leaned back toward her, looking at her with a little more concern.

"That so bad? I kinda liked it." She smiled, feeling like her head was sailing through clouds.

"It was an import. 55%." His hand brushed aside loose strands of her hair, as he tried to look in her eyes.

She was having a pretty hard time focusing now. The world defied her will that it remain still while she caught up.

"Oops?" She giggled. "You try'na get me drunk, Logan?" Rogue was in full 'southern belle', but she didn't seem to care at the moment.

"Wasn't the plan, darlin'." He held up a hand. "How many fingers?"

"Hold'em still an' I'll let ya know." She snorted, narrowing her eyes and squinting.

"Crap." Logan sighed, again. He rested his arms on his knees, stubbing out his cigar on a tray on the table and turned back to her. "You're gonna feel it in the mornin', Marie. Sorry."

"Mah father would not have approved." She wagged a finger, disapprovingly at the older man, then frowned. "Mah father did not approve of very much, includin' me."

"His loss." Logan moved back beside her, shuffling close and laying an arm around her shoulders, gripping her arm somewhat. Like he was afraid she'd fall over or something.

She was feelin' a bit odd, all told. But still.

"Damn straight!" She nodded, emphatically. "I am amazin'."

"You're definitely somethin' else, Marie." Logan squeezed her arm, pulling her tighter against him.

She laid her head on his shoulder, feeling sleepy all of a sudden. Head felt better when she didn't move it.

"Y'know, you're way better at this'n he was." She yawned, closing her eyes.

"Hm?" She felt Logan shift, as he glanced down at her.

"I said you're way better at this fatherin' thing than he was, but you're too good lookin' to be a dad." She snorted, in a half-laugh. "A loss to women all over, sugah. Least', I think so." She slapped his chest, draping her arm across it.

Dimly, somewhere buried inside, Marie was having a bit of a meltdown at the words coming out of Rogue's mouth, but Rogue was too tired, too content and too blissfully drunk to care.

"That's certainly an interestin' view." Logan said, after a minute. "Some might say, conflictin'."

"Tell me about it." Rogue sighed. "Feelings complicated."

She felt Logan start to stroke her hair, lightly. Sent a shiver down her spine. Rogue half-purred, totally at ease for the first time in…long. Long, long, long.

"Think I'd better get you upstairs." Logan muttered. "Don't need Scooter or Red or anyone else askin' how you wound up like this."

"No." She shook her head. "No questions."

She felt Logan extricate himself from her slowly, getting to his feet and clearing the bottles away. He turned back to her.

"Can you stand?"

"Not sure." She yawned again.

Logan stooped down, drawing her arm around his shoulder and pulling her off the bench. Before her legs buckled uselessly, his other arm slid under her legs and she felt herself scooped off the floor, easy as anything.

Made her feel small, being carried like that.

"You alright?" He glanced down at her.

"…yeah." She grinned, staring back, kind of bemusedly.

Logan carried her through the mansion, avoiding the party still going on and up the stairs, through the quiet halls, to her room. Before they did, Logan stopped in his tracks suddenly, causing her to pull her attention away from staring up at his bearded, weather old face and see what he'd stopped for.

Bobby and Kitty were partway up the hall, outside her room. Making out.

"Woah." She whistled, before she could even think about stopping herself.

The pair jumped, seeing her and Logan for the first time. Both looked guilty.

"…um…"

"…its not…"

"Don't stop on mah account." Rogue waved, lazily, lolling back again in Logan's arms.

"Is she okay?" Kitty asked, sounding worried.

"Mix-up." Logan said, by way of explanation. "Drinks."

"…we won't say anything if you won't, about…" Bobby cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"Deal." Logan replied.

"Have fun!" Rogue waved again as the couple bustled past and downstairs. "They're great kids." She added, thoughtfully.

Logan chuckled under his breath and pushed open the door to her room.

Rogue had never had an issue with Logan being in her room. She had nothing to hide, no secrets from him.

Well, not many.

He'd saved her life, more than once. He was her friend, more. Guardian. Watcher. Teacher. Mentor. Protector. Family. More than family.

He laid her down on the bed, carefully, turning back to close the door.

"Need t' change." She yawned, struggling to sit up.

"Nevermind 'bout that, darlin'." He pressed her back, gently but firmly, sitting on the floor beside the bed.

She rolled onto her side, to look at him.

Sometimes, it looked like he hadn't changed a day. But he had. Always new bruises or a scar here and there. Skin a little rougher, maybe. Hair darker, maybe a grey here or there at the limits, if you really looked.

Didn't matter to her. Didn't change a thing. How old was Logan really? Even he didn't know.

"Sleep it off." Logan said, placing his hand on her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You're gonna feel it, later."

"How long're you stayin'?" She asked.

"Not sure yet." He shrugged. "No plans right now."

"You'll be here in the mornin' then?"

He began to rub her head, soothingly. She sighed, closing her eyes.

"I'll be here in the mornin', darlin'."

"Good." She yawned, curling up slightly. "Hate bein' like this, sometimes. Y'miss all the little things." She rambled, half-asleep.

"Like?" Logan asked, patiently.

"Mah daddy used to kiss me good night when ah was a little girl. Miss that sometimes, even if ah don't miss him." She mumbled, sliding her arm over the side of the bed and burying her head in the pillow.

"You ain't untouchable. Just playin' by a diff'rent set of rules."

She was surprised when she felt Logan lean close and brush his lips against her forehead, only for a second. They felt rough, and his beard was scratchy, but…but it was…

"G'night." Logan muttered quietly, as he got up and left the room.

She opened her eyes, but the room was dark and he was already gone.

"Night."


	3. Poker Face

More of this, for those that were enjoying it! Hope this will suffice, been pretty busy lately.

* * *

Logan's foot swept along the mat. Rogue jolted back, just out of reach.

"Faster." He growled, stepping forward and closing the space she'd just bought.

His arm swung out in an arc and she ducked, then rolled to one side. She wasn't ready for his foot this time, as it crashed into her gut before she'd even made it to her knees and she tumbled over backwards.

As she struggled up, she saw Jubilee behind him her elbow raised, poised to drive it into the back of his neck. Too late she realised some…tell…in her expression must have given something away, and she fought to mask it.

Too late.

Logan's eyes were fixed on her, a mild look of disappointment, as he sidestepped Jubilee easily and raised his arm, practically 'closelining' the poor girl as she collided with it. Jubilee wrenched back, her legs flying up as her body was caught behind and she crashed to the floor, groaning.

Across the gym, she heard muffled laughter. Deep, throaty. Cable and Bishop must have been having the time of their lives.

Rogue lay flat on her back, staring at the ceiling, catching her breath.

It was great having Logan back, she'd never say otherwise.

…but it also meant Logan assuming his temporary position in charge of physical training for the kids, students…and the older residents of the mansion again. And right now, after this morning…and that _god damn hangover_ …she felt like she could have done without this.

"Sloppy." Logan sighed, scratching his chin idly. "Read your face like a book. You got no poker face."

"Rogue!" Jubilee whined, rolling haphazardly onto her side. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry." Rogue struggled onto her side. "I wasn't feelin' myself this mornin', for some reason." She shot Logan a sour look.

"Mrm. I'll think of somethin'." Logan cleared his throat, looking briefly sympathetic. "Well, we'll call it for now. Got time to correct the shitshow training Cyke's been puttin' you through, it's gonna take more'n a few hours."

Jubilee shot her a goofy grin, mouthing something.

"'Correct?'" Rogue snorted, pulling herself onto her knees, still panting slightly. "Don't let Scott hear that. He worked us hard."

She was hot as hell, but that came with the black bodysuit she had to wear for training. Some precautions she just had to take.

"Not hard enough." Logan wandered back to the edge of the gym, toward where Bishop and Cable were hanging around, watching them suffer. "Hit the showers."

"Oh thank god." Jubilee gasped. Her friend turned toward her. "I'll never know how you do it, Rogue, but you're the only one who can get him to ease up on u-"

"Five laps around the gym first." Logan called, without turning around.

"Oh fuc-" Jubilee flopped forward, head hitting the mat.

"Six." Logan called back.

"Thanks, Jubes." Rogue smiled, wryly, struggling to her feet.

She held out a hand, but Jubilee waved her off, managing to get up on her own and straightening out her tracksuit bottoms and sleeveless top.

"I'm sweatin' to death in this thing for a reason, Jubes." Rogue quipped, withdrawing her hand.

Jubilee got a look on her face and winced apologetically.

"Sorry, it wasn't that, I just didn't want to give wolfman over there another reason to pick on u-"

"Seven!" Bishop suddenly called over, laughing, as Logan left.

The two girls glanced at one another and shrugged, helplessly. Then started to run.

…

"I'll catch you later, Rogue." Jubilee waved, lazily, heading her own way after they left the gym.

They'd showered and changed, Jubilee in her own violently, colourfully offensive yellow pleather jacket and purple top ensemble, gleefully all-but skipping outside.

Looking for more trouble, no doubt, Rogue mused.

Rogue turned towards the kitchen instead. After last night, and that session in the gym, she was starving.

She felt a lot better for the shower, and changing out of the clingy, sweaty bodysuit into a flowing black skirt and loose-fitting green sweater, accompanied by her ever-present elbow gloves and black choker. The halls of the mansion were cool and airy too, refreshing.

Rogue was almost to the kitchen when Kurt materialised in front of her. He beamed, almost manically, bright eyes flashing against his dark blue skin and blue-tinted hair.

"Rogue, fancy seeing you here!" Manic, and a touch strained perhaps.

Rogue frowned.

"Okay, what's up?" She crossed her arms.

"Nothing." He poofed out of sight for a moment, then back, holding a frisbee. "Want to play?"

"It's kinda chilly out, don'tcha think?" She quipped, trying to sidestep him.

"Inside?" He sidestepped with her, still smiling desperately.

Rogue peered around him, but couldn't see into the kitchen. She looked back at Kurt, still trying to smile and hold her attention. She made an educated guess.

"Bobby and Kitty are in there aren't they?"

"…no?" Kurt tried, wincing involuntarily the exact moment he lied.

She felt a little sorry for him. He was trying to help, and he couldn't lie to save his life.

"Appreciate the effort, Kurt." Rogue sighed. "But I'm hungry anyway, and you can't lie for shit." She grinned.

"Sorry." He smiled weakly.

"S'okay. I'm up for hangin' out when I'm done though?"

"Oh, you know me." Kurt disappeared and reappeared further back down the corridor. "I'll be around!" Then he was gone again.

Rogue turned back toward the kitchen and made a concerted effort to reinforce her smile as she mentally prepared herself.

So she'd broken up with Bobby, and so they'd both agreed to be cool about it, and so she was fine with him seeing other people, and so Kitty was her friend…

…that didn't instantly make it easier.

"What's up, guys?" She breezed in, making an effort not to look directly at the two of them, who she could see had been standing together, getting cosy by the glass doors leading outside.

"Rogue-"  
"Rogue-" They blurted, stepping apart.

"I'll be outta your hair in a minute." Rogue waved them off, plucking an apple out of the fruitbowl in the middle counter and tossing it up and down.

"…er…" Bobby tried, raising a hand hesitantly as she moved around the kitchen.

"Rogue, you feeling alright?" Kitty asked, sounding concerned.

Rogue fought the urge to wince, or sigh. She stopped, leaning back on the counter.

"Great. Hanging like fu-" She started.

"Like what, was that, Rogue?" Xavier wheeled into the kitchen, an expression of thinly veiled interest on his face.

"…uh…" Rogue fumbled.

"You look tired." Xavier said, glancing up at her, all innocence.

"Morning session with Logan'll do that with you." She offered, hoping that would satisfy.

"Evening session with Logan too, considering how you looked last-ooumph!" Bobby grunted, as Kitty elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"There's nothing wrong with…letting our hair down, so to speak." The old man chuckled at their expense, as they all suddenly found something else to look at besides his hairless scalp.

"I had…a drink. Or two." Rogue replied.

She wasn't even lying, she mused, thinking back to Logan's mix-up.

"Yeah, how big?" Bobby sniggered.

Kitty elbowed him again. Xavier chuckled, then cleared his throat.

"Oddly enough, I did have something important to do, as entertaining as this has been. " The professor nodded towards Bobby. "Could I borrow you for a moment?"

"…uh…sure, professor." Bobby nodded, leaving Kitty and she an awkward parting glance.

"Oh, and Rogue. Logan asked me to tell you to be in the lounge later this evening. I believe he's organised another training session…of sorts." Xavier's eyes flickered with amusement, then he left with Bobby.

Leaving her, and Kitty, alone. In silence. Quickly getting awkward. She took a bite out of the apple.

She wondered if she should say something, put her friend at ease.

"I'm sorry, Rogue." Kitty said, suddenly, leaning on the other side of the counter. "We should have said something."

Nevermind.

"It's okay." She half-smiled, chewing.

And it was, really. Mostly. Generally.

"No, we're friends. We both should have…y'know…anything is better than sneaking around like…this?" Kitty gestured helplessly.

Rogue shrugged.

"Won't pretend it doesn't sting a little, but I broke up with him Kitty. I did, me." She smiled weakly. "There are things I can't do, no sense pretendin'. Just the way things are."

"It's not fair." Kitty sighed.

"Yeah, maybe." Rogue bit into the apple again. "But know what else isn't fair? My friends not gettin' it on because they're scared of what I'll think." She managed a grin.

"Jesus, Rogue." Kitty chuckled.

"Look, Kitty, I know you're worried about hurtin' my feelings or something, but really, havin' to think about you and Bobby wanting to but not gettin' freaky ain't much easier than thinkin' about you and Bobby gettin' freaky, anyway."

They stared at each other across the counter before both breaking down in a fit of embarrassed laughter.

"Y'know, sometimes I wonder whether it's just that bit of Logan left in your head or whether you were always like this." Kitty sniggered.

"Bit of both maybe." Rogue drawled, tossing the apple core into a bin.

"I can believe that, girl."

…

Rogue made her way to the lounge, later that afternoon. She wasn't really sure what to expect. She hadn't seen Logan since that morning, and she wasn't sure what the professor had quite meant by "training".

As a result, she'd elected not to change into anything particularly combat-ready. On the off-chance he might just want to hang out, rather than drill her into the ground again.

Rogue wasn't sure what to expect, but in retrospect, she should have expected something unexpected.

Seeing Logan at the table on the far side of the lounge, with Cable and Bishop, shuffling a deck of cards with stacks of poker chips between them, was pretty high on the 'unexpected' list.

"Kid." He nodded, not looking up. Bishop and Cable did the same.

It looked like Rogue was going to get to spend her evening with three gruff, stoic, grizzly, combative men many, many times her own age.

Many, many, many, _many_ times her age, considering two were from the future and Logan was anywhere between a century or two old in the other direction.

Even if he didn't look it, a sneaky, treacherous thought bubbled up in her mind.

"What are we doin'?" She asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"Training." Logan replied, dealing out cards.

"Your poker face needs work." Bishop added.

"It sucks." Cable snorted.

"Thanks." Rogue shot him a dry look. "Poker?"

"Need to learn control." Logan slid her cards across.

She picked them up.

"I can play poker." She argued.

"Not good enough." Cable cut in, looking at his own cards.

"You gotta win." Bishop grinned, over his own.

Rogue scowled across the table at Logan.

"How much did he pay you to do this?"

"Twenty bucks." Cable grumbled, laying a chip.

"I'm just here for the show." Bishop chuckled, following with his own bet.

"Mrhm." Logan grumbled, plucking a cigar from his jacket, over the back of his chair and sticking it in his mouth.

Rogue placed her own bet.

"Sloppy this mornin'." Logan rumbled, chewing on the end of his cigar.

"Well, whose fault is that?" She glowered.

"Sure you ain't just light, Rogue?" Bishop grinned.

"I'd watch it, fella." Logan raised his brow, glancing across at the other man. "She knocked back a bottle of the good stuff. Had you ruinin' your shoes, as I remember, after half."

Bishop laughed.

"What kinda example're you settin' the girl, Wolverine?" He chuckled. "That shit kills livers."

"Language." Logan growled, his eyes flickered over to her, briefly.

Rogue grinned back.

"Raise five." Cable muttered.

"Sounds like you had a good birthday then?" Bishop smirked.

"Had a blast, sugah." She tossed her own chip down, and took another card. "Felt it in the mornin', though."

"You get used to that." Bishop grinned, picking up another card.

"You don't." Cable sneered.

"Hey, fu-"

"Language." Logan growled again, louder, picking up a card of his own.

"I'm eighteen." Rogue rolled her eyes. "Although maybe you missed that fact, with all the partyin' an' drinkin' last night."

"Oh, he noticed." Bishop chuckled.

Logan snarled and Bishop cried out suddenly as the table shook. She looked back at Logan, who only glanced at her for a moment, before going back to his cards, chewing his cigar.

"Behave." She smirked, over her cards.

"Kids." Cable muttered, laying another bet.

"What's going on here?" Kurt appeared beside the table. "Cards?"

"Cards?"

Rogue turned to see Jubilee breeze in, excitedly, with Bobby, Kitty and Remy in her wake.

Cable made a noise at the back of his throat. Bishop stifled a laugh.

"Training." Logan replied, seriously.

"Yeah, right. Scoot over, honey." Jubilee pushed her over, squeezing onto her chair. "Can we play? Deal us in!"

"Yes, but be prepare to be losing preddy quick, fellas." Remy pulled up another chair, grinning widely. At her. "'Allo, cherie."

"Remy." She nodded, trying to hide behind Jubilee.

Cable looked like he wanted to shoot something as the others all sat down around the table. Bishop seemed to be taking no small amount of amusement at his comrade's discomfort. Logan was displaying an truly astonishing level of patience, and dealt them all in without a word.

"So…training, huh?" Jubilee elbowed her.

"If she loses, you're both doin' laps tomorrow." Logan rumbled, shuffling through his cards.

"What?" Jubilee squeaked. "But that's bullsh-"

"Language."  
"Language."  
"Language." Logan, Cable and Bishop said at the same time.

The others laughed. Rogue sniggered as Jubilee pouted, in a huff.

"Well, are you winning yet?" She asked, trying to peer at her cards.

"I'm doin' fine." Rogue shot back.

"Fear not, cherie, I shall win dis for ya." Remy leaned back in his chair, smiling broadly. "De Wolverine 'as met 'is match."

"You're runnin' laps tomorrow just for that, Cajun." Logan grumbled, not looking up from his cards.

"Rats." Remy groaned.

Rogue looked bleakly around the suddenly packed table, at her friends, teachers, comrades, all talking, laughing, jostling…

…it was going to be another long night.

She suddenly felt a foot tap down on top of hers. It did so repeatedly, slowly, but consistently. It was calming. She looked up at Logan. His eye met hers for a moment, then went back to his cards. He plucked his cigar out of his mouth and grinned slightly.

"Your turn, darlin'." He put it back in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "Take it easy."

Rogue looked back at her cards, trying to concentrate, and not to blush, even though everyone was busy doing their own thing. She smiled.

A long night, maybe. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.


End file.
